THE SILENCE OF MICHELLE OBAMA
The White House remains one of the icons of American traditional heterosexuality. Every four years we see a new nuclear family enter the gates of this historial residence, and Barack and Michelle Obama are the latest residents. Thus, I am not too surprised that Michelle Obama, a woman who occupies this house, is afraid to be associated with marriage equality. While Michelle Obama has taken up many platforms in her role as First Lady (organic gardening, obesity, hosting poets), same-sex marriage hasn’t been one of those platforms. So, it came as no surprise, to me at least, that the First Lady had her office issue a statement denying any public support of same sex marriage. The statement delivered to POLITICO by communications director Kristina Schake stated, “Mrs. Obama has never made any public statements about same-sex marriage.”
Michelle Obama has continued to function as the sign of bourgeois White womanhood that her predecessors have occupied. She’s wealthy, she’s college educated, she’s religious, and she’s a dedicated mother and wife. This is a common notion in the minds of Americans regarding their first ladies and Michelel Obama hasn’t challenged this notion. There isn’t much about Michelle Obama that screams radical other than her race, which was used early on in her husbands campaign to imply that she was an Angela Davis type hell bent on handing out reparations for Slavery. Fortunatately, mostly for her husbands political interests, Michelle Obama has been able to sink into the American consciousness as a harmless mother and wife, not an activist or radical.
Some have reacted to critiques of Michelle Obama’s silence surrounding marriage equality with a strange mix of sexism and adoration. Apparently no one can critique Michelle Obama because people love her, and no one should be able to critique her because she’s “just” the First Lady, and First Ladies, and “ladies” in general, aren’t supposed to use their voices on issues that concern them, particularly when those issues entail homosexuality. The patriarchal narrative of the wife who lets the husband handle all the difficult issues is one all to ingrained in the minds of Americans.
One young woman responding to a Tweet I made about Michelle Obama’s silence, responded with “I think sometimes it’s best that 1st ladies stay out of things like that.” I’m assuming by this she means that only the men can handle serious issues like same sex marriage, and that a First Lady shouldn’t preoccupy herself with “things like that.” A young man tweeted, “But honestly, Marriage equality is not her platform. She’s not the President…just the first lady.” The words “just the first lady” seemed very telling to me. Why does First Lady have to be a position that is marginal or bereft of power? Eleanor Roosevelt was “just the first lady,” and she did a lot, which included speaking out against racism at a time when it was all too popular for White Americans to remain silent on the issue. What makes Michelle Obama so different from Eleanor Rooselvent? Why isn’t Michelle Obame capable of using her voice to stand with Gay Americans as Eleanor Roosevelent stood with Black Americans?
Unlike the people who love Michelle Obama, and view her through a lens of sexism, I think she is quite capable of using her voice for any issues she chooses to use it for. She does not have to remain silent on marriage equality, but could rather use her voice as First Lady to become a vocal supporter. This isn’t about condemnding the choices that she has made, but making sure people know that Michelle Obama, and any woman for that matter, is capable of making choices. Michelle Obama has a law degree from Harvard and if she wanted to she could have continued working, or taken a larger role in her husbands administration. Those who believe as First Lady she isn’t capable of stepping outside of the expected box are doing her a disservice. Michelle Obama didn’t have to take her husbands last name. Michelle Obama didn’t have to consent to her daughters having only her husbands last name. Michelle Obama didn’t have to quit her job. Michelle Obama does not have to toil around the White House garden. Michelle Obama does these things because Michelle Obama choose to. And Michelle Obama chose to remain silent on same-sex marriage. Make of it what you will.
I would like to end with a quote by Martin Luther King Jr, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” I think this quote perfectly sums up my views on Michelle Obama choosing to remain silent on same-sex marriage. Michelle Obama has not shown herself to be an enemy of the gay community. She hasn’t, like many others, went out and spewed homophobic rhetoric against the gay community. In a time when homophobia is as casually displayed as it is in this society we need our friends to feel like our friends and speak out on our behalf. The silence is killing us.
Posted on June 28, 2011, in Breaking It Down!. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.
This is well written. You did am awesome job at breaking down the “ole school” barriers that are set in America’s minds (role man vs. woman). Keep em coming my brother!
Silence is not always bad…you yourself in your writing admits that you don’t know where she stands. Don’t assume because she is married to Obama she has the same oppinion. May be her silence is the best thing she can do for the cause. And just be her rescuing not to say anything was planned by the party.
Do you not see how this first Black President Nuclear Family is being Treated??? It’s not just about you….just sayin
The argument that Michelle Obama occupies the same space of privilege as the white First Ladies befor her is a conclusion based on the image of the position she was thrust in. The reality of her being not only a black woman, but a black woman who has not in any way traded in her blackness for the role of privileged white wife stand-in shows the stretch of your argument. It is your image of her and her actions and the conclusions that you have drawn that would make it seem that she is no different than her predeccessors. It’s similiar to how some people would use the image of President Obama’s success as proof that their is no racism and that blacks have fully been accepted into society. This image like your’s of Michelle Obama’s total assimilation, is a dangerous stretch that relies too much on the image of the reality than reality itself. American society is so driven by images that they (you?) really think that an image is all that is needed to know what is real and what is not.
What Michelle Obama is known for so far is her biceps and her organic garden. One would hope that someone in a position of power would, could take a stand. One, that I hoped would have been more about not following the pack for both the Obama’s, for example like the firing of Van Jones or troops in Afghanistan. Obama barely rocks the boat, oh well, just another president.
Comparing Michelle Obama to previous first ladies is really like comparing “apple and oranges”. She is of a different race and actually has school age children that she is “actively” mothering quite admirably might I add. The fruits of both feminism and the Civil Rights struggle are that CHOICE. Yes she is a highly educated African American woman who was raised in the suburbs by a relatively “comfortable”/intact nuclear family. She could neglect what she has chosen to make of importance ( her kids and the platforms she has chosen) and go about advocating and rustling feathers about all the ills everyone else feels she should be about as both a woman and an African-American. But really the life that she is living is hers. She will never please everyone even if she went about advocating and getting fired up about what YOU want her to. If she did I’m sure someone would have a well written blog piece about what she wasn’t doing and how as a Black woman with a Harvard education and influence that she does she wasn’t doing enough. She is but one person, doing amazing things given the time she has and the hand she has been dealt. Nothing any of us to, left up to those watching with criticism and expecting so much, will ever be enough. Remember that unless you actually know her, everything you decide about her, whether you realize it or not, is for the most part you drinking that media kool-aid.
“Don’t let the liberal media tell you how to think and feel…” – Dave Chapelle