THE PROGRESSIVE HOMOPHOBE
Should we be satisfied with someone who is “accepting” of gays but draws the line at gay men or women who do not live or act according to the gender role society expects them to live?
Take this shining example:
“YO FUCK THAT IDK WHY BUT IMA SET AN EXAMPLE [I RESPECT HOMOSEXUAL BUT THIS ISHH RIGHT HER IS REDICULOUS] COMONE OVER DOING GAY JUST A LITTLE BIT BRUH! LIP STICK AND PURSES AND BOOTS AND HILLS IS FOR GIRLS MAN UGHH ITS FINE WITH BEING HOMOSEXUAL BUT SUM OF YALL YTAKE IT TOO FAR CUS [ U AINT NO FEMALE NIKKA REAL SHIT]” – James Basedgod Swaver
Do gay men find it satisfying that someone isn’t a homophobe but is definitely an effemiphobe?
I personally don’t want you to accept my sexual orientation if you can’t accept all gay men and the ways they express and manifest themselves. Policing someone’s gender is only a step away from policing someone’s sexual orientation. It’s a dangerous denial of personal autonomy that all forms of hatred are rooted in.
I think cases like this are a good way to gage the way society and gay men view themselves. Are we a fan of the man who is “cool” with the gays but won’t have gay men doing “girly” stuff? What does this tell us about our views on gender and gender expression and sexual orientation? What does this tell us about who gets to do what? When they can do it? And how they can do it? Should we control or care how another person expresses their gender? Should we care how another person expresses themselves period?
I’m not a fan of policing another persons sexual orientation or gender but that’s just me. Perhaps others aren’t so enlightened.
Note: If you can, could you please report the user to Facebook for his hate speech and cyber bullying? Thanks in advance.
Posted on August 26, 2010, in Homophobia. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.
Good point. I think flexibility is the key. The more tolerance you can get, the better. Someone who hasn’t been around a lot of gay men at all is taking a step by first understanding that not all gays are effeminate. Then give them some time before pushing it further. There are also some who like gays when they are stereotypical because it makes them non-threatening, but they dislike bisexual men or men who can hide because they look straight. I think it’s best to be flexible. Don’t spurn tolerance according to laundry lists of things people need to accept, in order to win your approval. I think that backfires. It also risks making all of us demanding and judgmental.
Also, some characteristics that people have falsely coded as effeminate are in fact annoying characteristics: passive aggressiveness, gossip, cattiness, sarcasm, underhandedness. It’s important to understand that if these are the behaviors that irritate someone it’s not necessarily homophobia even if those behaviors are sometimes called “gay” or “f—y” behaviors.
Interesting post, thanks!
I had this same conversation with a female friend over the weekend. She’s down with the gays, but doesn’t approve of transvestism or overtly effeminate men.
I, on the other hand, agree with you completely … up to the point where you want to censor this guy’s opinion. It’s benighted, but I don’t see how it’s hate speech or cyber bullying for him to say he disapproves of the way someone acts. He doesn’t advocate, as far as I can see, hurting anyone.
Btw, can we have a link to the facebook page, if possible?