THE DANGER OF TEACHING MEN THAT MANHOOD IS AN ACT!

We have been lying to black men.
We have been complicit in the destruction of black men.
We have been setting black men up for failure.

It’s time that we take responsibility as a collective for the psychological assault on black men that we all are guilty of fueling.

From the time we come into the world till the time we leave we tell ourselves and other black men (our sons, cousins, nephews, and friends) that to be a man is to act a certain way.

“You aren’t a man if you act like ________.”

“You aren’t a man if you act like ________.”

“You aren’t a man if you act like ________.”

But we don’t realize that when we tell ourselves and other black that man is an act, that’s being a man means to be a constant performer, always putting on a performance for yourself and others, that we are essentially telling Black men that to be a man means to show.

Perhaps it would be one thing if we didn’t also associate all of the acts with the very things that are detrimental to all human beings. The denial of the emotional self.

Boys who do are emotional, vulnerable, compassionate, loving, soft, sweet, kind, free spirited, and feminine are told that they are not “acting” like men.

That to be a man means to be tough, hard, hyper masculine, cold, distant, dominating, strong, unemotional, unavailable, and unloving.

Is it any wonder that there are no “good” black men for black women or anyone else? Who wants to be around a person who only knows how to be tough, hard, hyper masculine, cold, and dominating? That persons brings a miserable existence to themselves and others.

Is it any wonder that the leading cause of death for black men is other black men? When the patriarchal world we tell them will be their oyster does not come to fruition they rely on the only emotion they were told was acceptable for them as black men and that is Rage. So often leading to crimes harming other black men, black women, and children.

We raise our hands in the air wondering where did these unemotional, distant, destructive black men come from? We often ask why women are more mature than men? It’s simple.

We don’t allow men and especially black men to be emotional creatures. Something that is central to the whole of any person.

We must all take responsibility for the destruction of the black man and realize that our constant lying to black men telling them that to be strong is to be cold and distant and hard is a lie.

If you want to help save black men, save the black community I encourage you to take a stand now and put an end to the assault on young black men.

Manhood is not an act it is a state of being and no one has to perform, show, or prove anything to anyone to be a man.

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